Snake goes on Jeopardy
by SamandMax
Summary: Snake's on Jeopardy, will he win?


Snake on Jeopardy  
  
"Hello, I'm Alex Trebek and welcome to Jeopardy. Today are contestants are Sir Jackington Washinville, Peterson G Einstein and Snake. Let's start the game, Snake you pick first."  
  
"Umm...famous authors for two hundred."  
  
"This author wrote the book Silence of the Lambs."  
  
Snake buzzes in  
  
"Who is the guy with the glasses...um....His name's Hannibal something."  
  
"Wrong."  
  
Jackington buzzes in   
  
"I do believe it was Thomas Harris."  
  
"Correct Sir Jackington, you pick."  
  
"Hmm...I shall pick the big screen for four hundred."  
  
"Don't forget that this movie featured Guy Pearce as a detective."  
  
Snake buzzes in again  
  
"Silence of the Lambs."  
  
"No. And answer in the form of a question."  
  
Peterson buzzes in.  
  
"What is Memento."  
  
"Yes Peterson. Your board."  
  
"I believe I shall take Oh Canada for five hundred."  
  
"This is the current prime minister of Canada."  
  
Snake buzzes in once again  
  
"Who is America."  
  
"...I'm not going to dignify that with a response. Jackington?"  
  
"It is Jean Chretein."  
  
"Excellent, your board."  
  
"I shall take the big screen for two hundred."  
  
"This movie featured our star going back in time to defeat hitler."  
  
Snake buzzes in  
  
"What is Jeopardy:The Movie."  
  
"Snake, it was your own damn movie...Peterson?"  
  
"What is Metal Gear: The Movie."  
  
"Yes. It seems Snake doesn't know his own life."  
  
Snake buzzes in'  
  
"What is Metal Gear: The Movie."  
  
"...Ok...Peterson, your board."  
  
"I shall take Oh Canada for two hundred."  
  
"This animal doesn't give a dam about anything."  
  
Snake buzzes in again.  
  
"What is a hippoplatapus."  
  
"What the hell is that?"  
  
"What is a Canada."  
  
"Snake, shut up. Peterson?"  
  
"What is the beaver."  
  
"Yes. Last question of the round."  
  
"I shall take Farmers for five hundred."  
  
"This animal gives us hot dogs."  
  
Snake buzzes in  
  
"What is Hotdoglio."  
  
"Judges, please unplug Snake's buzzer for the rest of the game. Jackington?"  
  
"What is the pig."  
  
"Correct. Good round...you two. We'll be right back."  
  
  
ROUND 2  
  
"We're back and about to talk to our contestants. Jackington, please tell me a little about yourself."  
  
"Well, I went to the University of London for ten years then became a colonel. I spend most of my time in my study reading up on history and british colonel monocles. In my spare time I like a good game of polo or watching masterpiece theatre on the tele."  
  
"Very good. Now, Peterson a little about you."  
  
"I was born in Oxford and lived there until I was twenty three. After that, I went to Harvard for another ten years and then became an author on the particles of matter. I also like to read and play polo."  
  
"Now....you Snake."  
  
"Well, I've only got me a third grade...what do you call it...education. In my spare time I like shooting things and then I like to play boggle, junior edition. I also like to stand in the tire section in the mall and smell the rubber"  
  
"I understand you once attended Yale."  
  
"That's a misprint, I once saw Yale on a TV show about shooting things."  
  
"Oh...let's go back to the game. Snake, since you're at negative two thousand you go first."  
  
"I'll take Clue! for five hundred."  
  
"Alright. In the board game, this man was the victim."  
  
Snake buzzes in once again.  
  
"Who is Mr.Cluey McClue."  
  
"....It seems Mr.Snake's buzzer has been plugged back in. Jackington."  
  
"Who is Mr.Body."  
  
"Excellent. And Snake, please put away that dictionary. Jackington, your board."  
  
"I'll take Landmarks for two thousand."  
  
"Alright. These giant heads on this island are sometimes considered to be one of the greater sights in the world.  
  
Snake Buzzes in first, once again.  
  
"What is North America."  
  
"Seeing that isn't even an island, I won't respond. Peterson?"  
  
"What are the Easter Islands."  
  
"Correct. And Mr.Snake, will you please stop playing with that air horn. Mr.Peterson, your choice."  
  
"I'll take Military Weaponry for two thousand."  
  
"Considered the rarest and most top secret weapon of all time, it was once used to hunt down the lochness monster which proved useless."  
  
Snake buzzes in, what a surprise.  
  
"What is the T-4334 Automatic Rifle with optional scope, heat vision or night vision googles. It also came with a very nice drink holder and an ice machine that could make ice that actually had coffee inside of them."  
  
"...Hmm, that actually does seem to be correct. Snake, your board."  
  
"Let's see. I should take the military one since I know so much about it, but I'd better take the one I know least about, maybe they'll hide a military one in there to trick me. I'll take Math Genius's for eight hundred."  
  
"This math genius once discovered the secrets of cloning but this secret was only told to top level military board members."  
  
Snake buzzes in.  
  
"Who was Thomas A Gardling. I met him once, or at least what was left of him. Just goes to show you that finding out stuff you're not supposed to gets you incinerated and then your ashes are thrown into the giant fire pit. Oops, I've said too much..."  
  
"Wow...two in a row. Snake, you're now out of the negatives. Last question of the round so choose carefully."  
  
"I'll take Webster's Dictionary for $2.50"  
  
"Snake, you're reading that off the dictionary in your hands."  
  
"Oh right...say Alex, is 2.50 a good price for a dictionary?"  
  
"Just pick a category."  
  
"Umm..Hockey for four hundred."  
  
"This is the hockey team in Dallas."  
  
Snake buzzes in once again  
  
"Who are the Dallas Hicks."  
  
"Judges? No, I'm sorry. Jackington?"  
  
"Who are the Dallas Stars."  
  
"Excellent. And that ends round two. Jackington has fifty six thousand, Peterson has five thousand and Snake has two thousand. Now, let's see the final jeopardy category. It is....Quotes. Please place your wagers now."  
  
FINAL JEOPARDY  
  
"Alright, we're back. Here's the question. "Hey, I never said I wanted a cream filled donut, you lied to me." was a quote by this man."  
  
The thinking music plays and they wager.  
  
"Alright. Snake, what did you have?"  
  
Snake shows his screen which says "My pen does not work."  
  
"Hmm, you seem to have put that your pen does not work yet you still wrote with it. And you wagered."  
  
The screen then shows a picture of Alex Trebeck drinking from a bottle.  
  
"Hehehe, look your drunk."  
  
"Cute. I suppose that means you didn't bet anything. Now, let's see what Ja-."  
  
Alex sees that the other two men are gone.  
  
"Where'd they go?"  
  
"I told them there cars were been stolen."  
  
"Great...Well, I guess Snake wins by default. What're you going to do with the money Snake."  
  
"I'm going to Disneyland...oh wait, no I'm really just going to the dentist. I have this one tooth that almost seems to be tak-."  
  
"Shut up Snake. Alright, that's the end of the show. The stupidest man won and so I believe that this is the beginning of the end folks. Please send me all your money if you'd like to help us out. Goodbye." 


End file.
